SOX STILL IN NEED OF SOME WORLD-CLASS HELP
By Steve Marsi
Boston has cut New York’s lead to 5 1/2 games in the A.L. East and is in the lead in the Wild Card standings. Finally, this is the team we expected in 2004.
Please. Save your breath. How many times have you heard a Boston fan utter some variation of that speech this season? The Sox are playing better than in months past, but forgive me if two weeks of dominating the Devil Rays, Tigers and Blue Jays hasn’t won me over. This team is still in need of a true catalyst, someone who can make an impact, not just fill a hole. Playoff rosters must be set by September 1, and General Manager Theo Epstein is undoubtedly manning the phones in the Sox war room as we speak. My advice to the GM is to think outside the box a little. Instead of scouring the waiver wire for some washed-up journeyman, why not look to the Olympic Games in Athens for some real prospects. Here are some candidates:
Michael Phelps – The swimmer has ruled the pool in Greece, but his much-touted "long torso" and wingspan could be put to even greater use in the Red Sox bullpen. If Billy Wagner can throw 100 m.p.h., one can only imagine the speed at which this 19-year old freak of nature tops out. By shunning girls and parties to concentrate solely on swimming, Phelps has clearly lost his mind – yet such an unwavering commitment to his craft will serve him well as he enters the Major Leagues. He is accustomed to, and can handle the pressure of being over-hyped, as his haul of eight Olympic medals has proven, so late-inning appearances at Fenway Park shouldn’t rattle him.
Phelps, who may be the only athlete to appear in more commercials than Curt Schilling over the past week, would also give the front office the marketable face it craves. If he isn’t serving as the primary setup man for Keith Foulke by the end of the month, something is wrong here.
Jennie Finch – The former University of Arizona softball standout brings killer good looks and a fastball that’s even more lethal. What better combination to paralyze opposing hitters? Finch has already thrown two shutouts for the U.S. team, which is dominating the Olympics. She has excelled as a pitcher on the college and international levels, making Major League Baseball her next logical stop. Although the 6’1" blonde’s mechanics will require some adjustment (with the ball being a different size, the mound farther away, etc.), I’m sure Boston’s pitching staff will line up to show her the ropes. Her unorthodox, underhanded delivery will give the team a menacing long reliever or spot starter. Finch appeared on "This Week in Baseball" alongside Alex Rodriguez last year – clearly foreshadowing a meeting in the 2004 ALCS – so even the best hitters in the game won’t intimidate her.
Carlos Arroyo – Rarely is an athlete’s performance so scintillating that you find yourself rooting against your home country. That was the case last weekend in Athens when Arroyo carried his native Puerto Rico to a shocking upset of the U.S. basketball team with an overall performance so brilliant that his 24 points seemed like an afterthought. With countless slashing moves to the basket and lightning-quick passes to open teammates, Arroyo tore through the U.S. defense like a parasite through Jason Giambi’s intestinal tract. Already an established point guard with the NBA’s Utah Jazz, Arroyo became a giant killer Sunday in handing the U.S. its first Olympic loss since 1988. This type of leadership will be invaluable in the Red Sox clubhouse, and his agility will make him a perfect fit in Boston’s injury-plagued infield. It’s no secret that the Sox are feeling the need for speed, and with Pokey Reese, Mark Bellhorn and Kevin Youkilis on the disabled list, the time is right for Arroyo’s entry into the lineup. With Puerto Rico’s upset of the Dream Team, Arroyo has already orchestrated the demise of one empire. Next on the agenda will be Steinbrenner’s Yankees.
Paul Hamm – Due to his unbelievably high voice, the first American gymnast to win the all-around Olympic gold medal may find it hard to be taken seriously. At least until his upper-body strength does the talking for him. After years of trying to stick those triple-somersault dismounts, clearing Fenway’s left field wall will feel like a walk in the park. No question that Hamm would be a valuable bat off the bench for Boston, but his biggest attribute may be his mental toughness. After a tumble in the vault portion of the all-around competition, Hamm’s medal hopes looked bleak and NBC referred to him as if he had just died. He was such a great guy, that Paul Hamm. Too bad it all had to end this way. But after his South Korean competitors failed to lock up the crown, Hamm turned in the greatest high bar performance in recent memory to claim the gold by a fraction of a point. If there’s anything the Red Sox need to dethrone the Yankees and end their 85-year title drought, it’s the poise and resilience that Hamm brings to the table.
Howard Lederer – While not technically an Olympian, or even an athlete, this cagey veteran would serve the Sox well. One of the best poker players on the professional circuit, Lederer has been nicknamed "The Professor" for the calculating manner in which he dissects opponents. At least year’s World Series of Poker, in which he made it to the final day, an icy glare from Lederer made a cowering competitor bury himself inside his pullover. While baseball games are won and lost on the field, one cannot underestimate the power wielded by the human mind. You can’t bluff a Queen-high off-suited draw on Lederer in Vegas, and you can be sure that he will be two steps ahead of the opposition when serving as Terry Francona’s bench coach in Boston. The Sox skipper needs a right-hand man, one who can break down Kevin Millar’s batting average against lefties, who knows when to the call to the bullpen if the starter is in a tight spot, and who can occasionally steal (or just read) signals from the opposing coaches. Who better than the Professor?
