Fashion Posing As A Fan
By The Yawkey Way Philosopher
I'm not typically one to become easily agitated about trivial things. Life is simply to short to mire oneself in the day-to-day semantics that trivializes our affairs. That said, my defenses can be broken, and in honor of the gargantuan choking sound that the city of New York is making today, it is time to unleash my forked tongue upon the most hated of quasi-Americana traditions: the Yankee Hat. A quick precursor to the coming barrage, this argument can be applied to most teams, including by beloved Sox, however, in case your coma just wore off, the Yankees just choked bigger than any baseball team in history.
Ah,the Yankee Hat. To a true Yankee fan, it is a classy and effective way to simultaneously shield your eyes from the evil rays of the sun and show your allegiance to the Bronx Bombers. This is not for you. There is an epidemic across our great land and it is the Yankee Hat. Far too many dim witted dullards dawn their New Era Officials or their pink low top variety Yankee cap not because they are fans, but because they are sheep. Sure, most can tell you that the crossed N&Y on their hat is the symbol of the Enemy, but to them it's a fashion statement or a trendy thing to do. Much like the LiveStrong Yellow Bracelets, the Yankee hat is worn by those who are trying to gain some kind of social acceptance or to prove to others that they are with the in crowd and aware of the latest and greatest trend. Phooey. Call me old school, but if you want to wear the logo and colors of a team, you damn well better have a clue about that team. I cannot tell you the number of times I've heckled a Yankee Hat wearer or chanted "Let's go Red Sox" to a Sox hat wearer, only to have the person look at me like a deer in the headlights. Get with it people! Your representing a team and a rivalry, so you'd better prepares to suffer the consequences of crossing paths with a friend or foe.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an epidemic of epidemic proportion! Something must be done to stop these people from causing an unnecessary amount of Yankee support from encompassing our land in a darkness that may never purged! Stop the madness, we must take the streets and rise against the Evil Empire - and their hats.
Until next time, "Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language." - Ludwig Wittgenstein
