Schilling Retracts Piniella "Idiot" Comment
By Potfry
Curt Schilling today issued a press release reversing his harsh comments about Tampa Bay Devil Ray manager Lou Piniella, saying it was a “gross misstatement.” He asked that a congressional hearing be convened at which he could clarify his feelings on Piniella’s intellect, offer some suggestions as to how Piniella might better motivate his team, and share his 12-point plan for decreasing fighting in baseball.
The reversal was a welcome surprise for baseball executives, who were growing concerned about the bad blood between the Red Sox and Devil Rays, feeling that it would detract from the bad blood between the Red Sox and Yankees.
The statement from Schilling attempted to explain his sudden change of heart.
“At first, I thought I heard all the Devil Ray players saying that Lou was an idiot. Then I thought, maybe it was only a few of them. Truth is, I wasn’t on the field. But I could see their lips moving, and it sure looked like they were saying ‘Lou’s an idiot’. But maybe it was ‘Ouch my tibia.’ Either way, Lou’s idiocy is clearly not a pervasive problem.”
His statement continued:
“As the son of a man who served almost two decades in the United States Army as a member of the 101st Airborne Division, with a brother-in-law who served in Vietnam, a cousin that served in the U.S. Navy aboard the USS Carl Vincent, another cousin who recently finished his service in the United States army as a member of the Army Rangers, Green Berets, and finally the Delta Force, and a third-cousin-twice-removed who once killed a squirrel with his bare hands, I am undeniably a heroic figure. This makes me uniquely qualified to assess any situation with confidence, as well as change my mind decisively. Lou was an idiot before, and now he’s not.”
Schilling’s request for another congressional hearing was unprecedented, and is being mulled by members of Congress.
“Oh, Christ,” muttered Senator John McCain, reached by phone for a reaction to Schilling’s comments. “This means he’s going to start calling again. He thinks we’re friends, calls me ‘The McCainster.’ This is off the record, right?”
