Bye Bye Johnny D
By Joe Davis
"...You want to put people in the seats and I'm the kind of guy who can do that. I'm looking for five plus. I'm looking for a lot. For what I bring to the table night in and night in. We know how good Manny and David are, but I also help them look real good. They make me look real good."
-- Johnny Damon immediately after a season-ending devastating loss
How do you get a plane ticket out of Boston?
No, don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question.
Although, one might answer: 3-13, 1 BB, 4 K, and 2 runs scored. Johnny Damon put up those numbers in the ALDS this past week.
However, I would answer: Make a stupid response after an embarrassing playoff series sweep. Hey Johnny Damon, I know a perfect team for you.
Let's see... The Yankees have a center fielder right now. He makes 12+ million dollars a year. Weak arm, aging quickly... Hey, It's Bernie Williams! Now even I would admit that Bernie Williams is classier, better regular season player and better post season player than Johnny Damon.
While Johnny Damon is begging for a big contract, Bernie Williams is hustling his butt down the line. Be my guest Johnny Damon, go to the Yankees. Get paid 15 million dollars a year. You'll have to cut your hair, you'll have more pressure than Boston, you'll have to deal with A-Rod hitt-...er, never mind.
Goodbye Johnny Damon. Thank you for helping winning the World Series in 2004, but now is your time to go. The Yankees are in need of a new center fielder after the Yankee great, Bernie Williams will retire.
Just don't think about beginning a musical career, because we both know how Williams' and Arroyo's albums were...
