Secret Decoder Ring
By fuzzmartin
Editor's note: According to the latest reports, Yankee first baseman Jason Giambi has returned to his training in Tampa - after suffering through treatment of a benign tumor, a groin injury, and a chest cold.
In my last box of Lucky Charms I found a secret Jason Giambi decoder ring. We all know decoder rings aren't worth the 3-cents-an-hour Taiwanese labor that are put into them... but this ring was different. When I held it up to Jason's quotes to Sam Borden in the New York Daily News it deciphered a special message from Jason:
"This is absolutely not related to steroids at all and that's all I can really say about that." "During those last few weeks, I was a lab rat,""The not knowing, that was the worst part of it. You start to go, 'Why am I not getting better? It's mine. That's why I'm going to go through this with just me and my family." "It's already been traumatic enough with everything we've gone through, so we're just going to stop this right here and (be) excited that I'm going forward." "Everybody, I don't care what you do, what profession you're in, you're a human being first," "This has been a pretty traumatic experience," he said. "My goal is to be back on the field before the end of the year, there's no doubt about that." " I'm excited to get down here, get back playing again (and get) a chance to start over. It's been a tough two months."
Translated: Coming Down Off Roids Sucks
Wow! This thing really works!
