Escape From Vacationland
By lefty
We’ve returned from our harrowing adventure. A Desperate Yankee Fan Family, (DYFF) plied us away from our computers with visions of rest and relaxation in the scenic and laid back islands of Down East Maine. The DYFF infiltrated with a cunning attack at YankeesSuck.com's weakest link — our 10-year-old first-born son — and, sorrowfully, a Yankee sympathizer.
Brought to a desolate island with no cell phone or Internet access, the editors were forced to go on a retrieval mission. At first lulled into a false sense of security by all the friendly and familiar Red Sox caps signifying the heart of Red Sox Nation, the DYFF plot became obvious a few days into the scheme when access to update YankeesSuck.com became impossible and even keeping track of the scoreboard was too difficult.
Their plot seemed to center on distraction. Fresh caught lobster dinners, mountainside hikes, and ocean kayak adventures searching for seals worked to tempt the usually diligent editors away from their duties. (The DYFF no doubt was aware of the impending Yankee collapse in which the Boston Red Sox closed the gap to 5 1/2 games with a six game winning streak. Meanwhile, we were ignorant, without even a television or daily newspaper to connect us. We suspect they may have somehow arranged for the unrelenting fog as well.)
A brave young boat builder and fisherman finally foiled the plot however. Realizing where this was heading, the 16 year-old Red Sox fan, with ties to the legendary “Andre the Seal,” came to the rescue. Using the boat he crafted last year by his own hands, he brought our boy to shore safely, and even untangled ”the worst tangled line in I’ve seen in my life.”
The DYFF plot ended in failure however, because the backbone of the YankeesSuck.com staff is rejuvenated and refreshed and stronger than ever in their quest of watchdog status through the remainder of the season.
