Is History Repeating Itself?

In reviewing the debacle at Yankee Stadium a couple of weeks ago, I came across a quote from a Red Sox player that many of you might find interesting. Here it is:

"The Yankees are together. Nine guys giving their all. Us? We come to the ballpark and one guy’s dizzy, another guy’s hand hurts. That’s bulls**t. They’ve got one guy who comes out of the hospital to play. That’s how much this series meant to them."

Now who do you think said this? Nixon? Varitek? Schilling? Nope. None of the above.

Try Rick Burleson.

The Rooster made this statement in 1978 following what has come to be known as the Boston Massacre. The Yankees swept the Sox in a 4 game series at Fenway in June that year. They outscored them 42-9 and allowed only one Red Sox starter to get out of the first inning.

The recent series wasn’t quite that ugly. But there are eerie similarities to that clubhouse and this one. The teammates Burleson was referring to were Dwight Evans and Mike Torrez. Evans had been beaned three weeks prior to that series and was still complaining that he would get dizzy playing fly balls. Torrez claimed the middle finger on his pitching hand was sore, and blamed this for his lack of effectiveness. The guy who was in the hospital? That was Yankee Captain Thurman Munson, who took a Dick Drago fastball off his melon and was back catching the next night.

Does this all sound familiar? Between Nomar’s Achilles, Williamson’s arm, and Jeter going head first into the stands, I think this is real familiar. Why did Burleson have to step up and say this then and not Yaz? He was the team captain. Why did Schilling have to step up? He even admitted previously that he didn’t feel that was his role. But what choice did he have? There is no captain on this team.

Here we are, 26 years later, and it seems as though we are in the midst of another one of those years. Only time will tell how much history continues to repeat itself.

Source:
Pennant Races – Dave Anderson

Nobody’s Perfect

The New York Yankees: 26 World Championships bought, and counting. Oh no! It’s been three years since the Evil Empire earned themselves a World Series Championship! Call the doctor! Is everything OK in the Big Apple? Not exactly.

You might say "What’s wrong with the Yanks? They’re dominating!" True, the Yankees do hold a 7 game lead over the Red Sox in the AL East, but that doesn’t mean the team is doing well. According to Peter Gammons of ESPN, the Yankees need to do some shopping for an answer to their pitching woes. Kevin Brown and Mike Mussina are both on the DL. Monday night, the Yankees brought up pitcher Alex Graman from their AAA team, the Columbus Clippers. Graman’s appearance was not up to speed with the rest of the Yankees staff. Graman allowed 5 hits and 5 runs after only a third of an inning and now has a 19.80 ERA. Immediately after the game, Graman was sent back down to AAA. Don’t blame them.

According to Gammons of ESPN, "GM Brian Cashman's job could be on the line should New York not land Randy Johnson, which at this point doesn't look likely due to the Yankees' depleted farm system." I expect King Steinbrunner to do anything in his power to have Johnson in pinstripes by the trade deadline. However, if the Yankees do not finalize the deal with Johnson, they will need a miracle to provide an answer to the lack of strong pitching fans are used to watching in "the house that Ruth built." Watch things heat up as July 31st approaches.

Sources:
www.mlb.com
www.minorleaguebaseball.com
www.espn.com
www.boston.com

This Week's Top Ten

Top Ten Yankees All-Star Break Activities

10. Car-wash fund-raisers to get money for Randy Johnson. (Mitcp1)

9. Making macaroni pictures. (Weissmanjack)

8. Signing the entire National League squad. (Redhdedbstrd)

7. Watching grainy, black-and-white highlights of Kevin Brown in his prime. (RubenSierraOnRye)

6. VH1's "I Love the 90's" premiere, what else? (marxx3888)

5. Running up the price of steroids on E-Bay. (Nomar3268)

4. Whatever Kenny Lofton usually does. (MrAcacdoodie)

3. Group tour of San Francisco Bay-area laboratories. (david_kiser2002)

2. Parasite races! (EddieD)

1. Picking out dresses for the World Series after party. (robaire)

Bud Doesn't Like Mud.

Since I am presently unable to pay rent by contributing to this fine Internet site, I am forced to hold down a day job in the corporate world. My home for 40 hours a week is a place where talking heads call meetings to hear themselves talk about "synergy" and "leveraging resources." It is a world in which one is inexplicably forced to move his desk every few months, and a place that encourages filling out endless forms rather than developing practical skills. Bill Lumbergh, the smarmy boss featured in the 1999 cult classic Office Space, would be immensely proud.

Regardless of whether they have seen this film (which I highly recommend), I know that millions of fellow cubicle slaves across the country can relate to such experiences. Lately, so can several members of the Boston Red Sox, as Major League Baseball is apparently making an attempt to replicate this workplace environment.

The Boston Globe reported Friday that the league plans to instruct players such as Red Sox outfielder Trot Nixon to clean their batting helmets so that the team logo is more visible. Nixon, whose helmet is perpetually covered with the pine tar he applies to his bats, and who would probably shun bathing altogether if it allowed him more time in the batting cages, rightfully considers the directive laughable.

Nixon may not be Hall of Fame material, or the brightest of bulbs, but anyone familiar with the Sox will tell you that he is a true ballplayer, a guy concerned only with his team and the game. Even if Nixon never became a successful player of major league caliber, he would probably be toiling around the minors somewhere and loving it. Nixon wasn’t just frustrated with the nagging quadriceps injury that kept him out two months – he was seething at his inability to play. His jersey is rarely clean, while his cap and batting helmet are never so. That’s just part of the game he knows, one in which players go all out to win games and care little for trivial details. He should be lauded by the league, not made a victim of its bureaucratic, self-indulgent nonsense. And Trot is not alone on the Red Sox roster – Nomar Garciaparra has already been fined and threatened with suspension for covering the MLB logo on his helmet with dirt. Why the shortstop is so insistent on covering said logo is another story, but who cares! Closer Keith Foulke has been asked to remove the American flag that he sports on his hat. Another grave injustice.

Do these executives have nothing better to do than sit around and come up with ideas like this? It’s hard to think of something more asinine to worry about. This is an organization that can’t control steroid abuse or the violent behavior that tarnishes the sport’s image, yet the cleanliness of batting helmets raises a red flag. Why does the league wish to tamper with the routines of old-school players who make the game great? The same reason the company insists you use the new cover sheet on your TPS report. Because it can. So the powers that be can validate themselves and stroke their massive egos. Somewhere, Bill Lumbergh, a.k.a. Bud Selig, is smiling.

Ouch (again)! – Just when it looked as if the Red Sox were turning the corner and playing like the contenders we expected them to be in 2004, they manage to lose a key game in spectacular fashion. Last night in Seattle, the team wasted a great outing from Bronson Arroyo (7 IP, 3H, 1ER, 12K) as Foulke surrendered two home runs in the ninth inning and Bret Boone hit a grand slam in the 11th to give the Mariners an 8-4 victory. As Boston (50-41) attempts to catch New York in the AL East and surge ahead in the Wild Card race, a loss like this is particularly devastating. Any good team is going to lose some, but if the Red Sox can’t finish off the contests they have to win – games when the fifth starter dominates and the top-notch closer has a two-run lead in the ninth against a last-place team – they can forget about playing in October. Derek Lowe (7-9) will take the mound and try to salvage a split against the Mariners today before the team returns home to face the Orioles and Yankees.

Signs You Have Read Too Much "Moneyball" – In your slow-pitch softball league, you now take the first pitch in every plate appearance, frequently lean across the plate or crouch down in an attempt to sway the umpire’s judgment on close pitches, and have accumulated a team-high 11 walks. It’s all about the on-base percentage, after all.

Signs You Care Too Much About Fantasy Baseball – While watching the benches clear during a Cardinals-Cubs game, you find yourself hoping that a brawl will NOT take place, because of the slim chance that Jim Edmonds and/or Derrek Lee may be ejected as a result.

Baseball Needs A Cleanup

As the second half of the season kicks off and the clock ticks toward October, tensions are heating up. As we all saw, David Ortiz damaged his reputation by reacting emotionally to a bad call in his at bat against the Angels Friday night. The call was an inside strike for the out, and it lit Ortiz’s fuse. As Ortiz was right in home plate umpire Matt Hollowell’s face, Sox manager Terry Francona attempted to restrain Big Poppi, who pushed Francona out of the way, continuing his feud. Hollowell ejected Ortiz from the game, and Ortiz went flaming into the dugout. Just when we thought the incident had cooled off, Ortiz started firing bats from the dugout in the direction of two more umpires, Bill Hohn and Mark Carlson. The bats landed within inches of their feet. What does this have to say about baseball now? Well, you can say the game certainly has changed since the "good old days." Temper tantrums such as the one Ortiz displayed in front of the Anaheim fans Friday night are more common then ever.

Need I remind you of Los Angeles Dodgers’ outfielder Milton Bradley and his little incident? Well, back on the 7th of June, home plate umpire Terry Craft warned Bradley not to argue calls from the dugout. Who listens to umpires anyway? Apparently Bradley doesn’t. Bradley began arguing calls once again from the dugout, resulting in an ejection from the game. At that instant, Bradley stormed out of the dugout, ranting and raving about the situation, and then steamed back to the dugout only to empty a bucket of baseballs onto the field and heaving one by the left field warning track. Bradley was handed a four game suspension for this. However, Milton Bradley did not explode in front of the Milwaukee Brewers crowd like Ortiz did in Anaheim. I have a feeling Ortiz could be facing a 10 game suspension, for throwing the bats at the umpires.

Baseball will always be America’s pastime but this doesn’t mean the game won’t continue to evolve. In my opinion, the game is turning more into showing off the power of the big egos, causing incidents like those of Ortiz and Bradley, and hiding the very skilled players underneath it all. Baseball needs some shaking up. Hopefully Major League Baseball’s commissioner Bud Selig will have something meaningful to say about the current situations; and do something to clean things up.

Sources:
www.sperts.net
www.mlb.com
www.redsox.com
www.usatoday.com

Another One That Got Away.

Many people are aware of the famous sale of Babe Ruth to the Yankees. But what many fans are unaware of is the fact that the Sox didn’t stop there. Harry "No No Nannette" Frazee was selling and the Yankees were buying. There were a variety of deals which took place between the 2 teams in the early 1920’s. The first Yankee championship team with Ruth, 1923, had 11 former Red Sox players. That wasn’t by accident. And it is also no accident that the Sox had a winning percentage that decade of .388. The funny thing is, though, that the Red Sox could have used one of the lopsided deals to their advantage.

In July of 1922, the Red Sox traded 3B Joe Dugan (an excellent player) and OF Elmer Smith to the Yankees for OF Elmer Miller, SS Chick Fewster, SS John Mitchell, and P Lefty O’Doul.

Miller, Fewster and Mitchell were fodder. O’Doul was a lefty (of course) relief pitcher. The problem with his game was that relief wasn’t his specialty. He had been in the majors for a couple of years and was somewhat ineffective. His career ERA of 4.87 reflects this. He later had the distinction of pitching for the Sox versus Cleveland. That was the game in which the Sox gave up an AL record 27 runs in a 27-3 loss. O’Doul pitched three innings and gave up 16 runs on 11 hits. He also walked 8 batters. After the season, the Sox released him and he wandered back to his hometown of San Francisco.

But the story does not end there. When he returned home, O’Doul decided to try his hand as an outfielder with the SF Seals of the Pacific Coast League. He played there for 4 years and played well. In 1928, he signed with the New York Giants as an outfielder. He spent the season with them and was traded to the Phillies at the end of the season. This is where the fun starts.

O’Doul had a huge breakout season as an outfielder in 1929. He played in 154 games and hit .398 and set a NL record with 254 hits. To put this in perspective, Ted Williams never had more than 194 hits in a season and Stan Musial had a high of 230. O’Doul easily won the batting title.

In 1930, the last place Phillies traded him to Brooklyn after he hit .383. In 1931, he was invited on an All Star trip to Japan. He followed that up in 1932 with another NL batting title, hitting .368 for the Dodgers. He was on the NL All Star team in 1933 and went on another All Star trip in 1934. HE then retired at the age of 37.

O’Doul returned to San Francisco and became manager of the Seals. He remained manager until 1951. During that time he developed a young player named Joe DiMaggio and sent him to the Yankees.

The bottom line is they stole a guy from the Yankees that probably could have battled Ruth every year for top honors in the league for 10 years. Ruth hit more homers than the Red Sox team did in 1929. O’Doul hit .349 for his career with 113 homeruns and 542 RBI. He did this in 970 games. Imagine if the Sox had turned this guy into a position player in 1923. Imagine if he could have played in the 2,292 games that Ted Williams did. You can’t help but think he would have done some damage. Unfortunately, the Sox weren’t focused on winning games then, and if they had been we probably wouldn’t have to wonder now.

"Underwhelming"

Yes, "Underwhelming." That's how Dan Graziano, Newark Star-Ledger writers and "Yankee Notebook" author categorizes the potential tradebait the Yankee farm system can offer in the Randy Johnson bidding war. Of course, the Evil Empire could trade any one of their position players for the Big Unit and still be deadly. (After all, they are the first team in MLB history to have eight players with ten or more homers at the break.) But us Yankee haters can at least take comfort in the fact that Georgie has exhausted his minor league system and hasn't had a World Series in a few years to show for it.

A glimpse at various baseball columns in print and on the net shows that the Angels, Cubs, Red Sox, and Yankees are in the hunt for Johnson. Most seem to agree that the Yankees don't have the minor leaguers to attract Arizona attention and that the favorite might be Anaheim, although they have publicly denied this. The Red Sox may be in the position to have to block Johnson from going to the Yankees, but given their distance from first place, they may be content with aiming for the wild card (as they should have been all year) and save themselves 16 million dollars. If the Angels win the prize, the ALCS should be pretty good, but the Boston Globe sports lead will be the Patriots.

Graziano's article: http://www.nj.com/yankees/ledger/index.ssf?/base/sports-2/108996698219110.xml

That Giant Sucking Sound

We’re constantly under attack here at YankeesSuck.com by incredulous Yankee fans that don’t understand how anyone can say that their beloved team, with the best record this year, and 26 championship rings, can suck.

Well, to paraphrase a former president, that all depends on what the definition of the word “suck” is.

I often use Webster’s Dictionary to find correct spellings or definitions and they also have a wonderful on-line version of their product. If you Click here you can read for yourself their definition of the word suck. We use the second term which states:

2 b : to take in and consume by or as if by suction — a vacuum cleaner sucking up dirt — suck up a few beers — opponents say that malls suck the life out of downtown areas -- The Yankees suck the fun out of competitive baseball -- YankeesSuck.com.

Ok, so we added that last line. But it's only a mattter of time before Webster's picks it up.

A Fight For Delgado?

Help could be on the way for the Boston Red Sox soon — if they make the right move. According to Toronto Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi in an interview with Peter Gammons of ESPN, the Blue Jays management will "approach Delgado in the very near future to ask him to waive his no-trade clause." Delgado will be a free-agent after this 2004 season, and is raking in $18.5 million this year. But just who are the key teams in this situation?

According to Gammons of ESPN, "the Jays could put Delgado on the market soon, and that the Dodgers, Marlins and Red Sox have all called the team to inquire about his availability." If The Red Sox are unable to pick up Randy Johnson from the Arizona Diamondbacks, I would expect the Sox to turn their focus to Delgado, and post a substantial offer to the Blue Jays for the first baseman. Delgado currently has a .223 AVG, with 10 HRs and 36 RBIs. There is no doubt in my mind that the Sox would love to sign Delgado; for it would serve any club good to have this high-caliber ball player. But why shop Delgado? Need I remind you the trade deadline is July 31st? Delgado has not proved to be such a positive asset to the Blue Jays the past few years; and is only costing them money. Toronto Is 14.0 games behind the first place Yankees in the AL East, so why not go shopping? The Jays need an answer to their problems, and so do so many other teams, including the Red Sox. As the deadline approaches and things heat up, expect there to be a fight for Carlos Delgado; and consider the Bo Sox serious contenders.

Sources:
www.bluejays.mlb.com
www.espn.com
www.mlb.com

I Almost Choked

My wife and I went out for a nice dinner this evening. Well, actually, the service sucked, the waitress forgot we existed, and after 38 weeks of pregnancy, my wife started contractions. There were, however, a few nice benefits that came with tonight's suppertime extravaganza - the 42-inch flat panel plasma HDTV positioned just behind my wife's head on the other side of the booth.

Since Bridget wasn't very talkative - just a few "this hurts" and "when is this thing going to come out"'s - I happened to notice that SportsCenter was on in HD behind her. I methodically passed "uh-huh"'s, "yes honey"'s, and "I'm sorry, Sweetie"'s to my wife as she conversed, praying that she would not call me on the fact that my eyes were cast somewhere just to the northeast of her head. It worked well for a time.

Just as the appetizer came and we began to enjoy our savory, yet cold, potato skins, I saw the highlights from the New York vs. Detroit matchup. "Holy [Moly] 8 to Nuthin'?" I said out loud, nearly choking on my grease and cheese covered spud, "the Yankees really DO suck!"

My wife then realized I had not been paying attention to her for most of the 50 minutes we had been waiting for our meals and stated firmly, "you see why I don't want you to buy a new television, you'll NEVER pay attention to me." I followed it up with a "did you say something" comment to make her laugh. It didn't work.

We may not have had good service, my wife may never want to visit The Charcoal Grill again, but I'll always have Mike Maroth's one-hitter against the Yanks... and cholesterol laden arteries.

The Rant

Well, here we are on the tail end of the All-Star Break. Following are my astute investigative insights regarding that Summer Classic, the Major League Baseball All-Star Game:

I did not watch it.

Don’t get me wrong, though. It wasn’t my lack of interest that kept me from watching the game; it was more of a technical issue tied into a recent move. I very much was looking forward to seeing what sorts of amusingly stupid commercials were to be flung at me between innings. I doubt All-Star Game commercials have caught up with the annual Super Bowl offerings, but any major event is subject to some very interesting late-night deadline version exhibitions of marketing.

In reference to the move, I have been forced to bid adieu to my beloved Albuquerque Isotopes and say hello to: The San Angelo Colts! It looks like the Colts are pulling up the rear in their division, though, and most recent checks of the local sports news indicate that they’ve just had their asses handed to them by Pensacola.

No matter! I’m in Texas, now, so I can more avidly (And in a rare display of being included in the ‘local’ demographic for a Major League Team) say "Go, Rangers!" Luckily, they’re in the AL. I can still maintain my soft spot for the Marlins through the Albuquerque connection.

In any event, the move has snorked up the vast majority of my free time. I’ve been dreadfully busy scouting for work and even busier lounging on the porch sipping on beer while the deer and armadillos and whatnot frolic about in the backyard. My free time has been busily spent tossing knuckleballs at my visiting step-nephew and watching him try to glove them. He very swiftly adopted the ‘Stab At it and Pray’ method, which is still in use by a few catchers I know (Such as myself).

One thing I noticed… He uses this relatively softer version of a baseball, and by merit of having used it, he seems to be inordinately disturbed by the notion of an actual hardball coming toward him. Now, I’ll grant that he’s only seven, but I still think it’d be a better bet to get them STARTED using the real deal. For one thing, it’s probably a better idea to have kids throwing hardballs at one another before they’re throwing hard enough to do some real damage. As it stands, they get used to the softer ball, and get pretty good at winging it in there. Suddenly, they’re shunted over to a harder baseball and aren’t remotely used to it.

When I first started playing, at about the same age, we didn’t have ‘T-Ball’ or ‘Pitching Machine for Minors’ or ‘Softer Rag Ball’. I hate to sound like one of those ‘Back in My Day’ blowhards, but there IS a visible difference, and I think it’s not a positive one. The weenification of a sport just does not sit well with me. Set ‘em up, turn ‘em loose, and let them grow into the actual sport as it’s meant to be played is my philosophy.

Of course, there are Valid and Thoughtful (In the sense of "stupid") considerations floating around out there vis-à-vis softening up the sport for kids to minimize injuries.

Anyone, kid or non-kid, is going to experience the possibility of injury when playing a physical sport. Hell, when I was a kid we’d go out and do MORE dangerous stuff if the parent-sanctioned activities didn’t have enough potential for severe bodily harm. "Okay, we’re done playing Super-Safe League Bowling, now let’s get the heck out of here and go try to jump our dirt bikes over the ditch! Woo!"

Anyway, I guess my central point is that I’m against ‘tweaking’ the sport for safety concerns. Anyone who’s serious about continuing to progress in a sport is going to eventually meet the Real Deal, and do you think it’s "safer" to have him come into it completely inexperienced? Right Answer: No.

For what it’s worth, in my first year with the Bosque Farms Blimps, I got REALLY drilled in the ribs by this lefty kid. I thought I was going to flat out DIE. And see?! Look how I turned out.

Well, let’s leave that part out of the entire debate, neh?

Ted Williams: A True All Star

Although I never saw him play, I can’t help but wish that I had based on everything that I’ve read and seen concerning him. Ted Williams was a true definition of a great player. Batting titles. MVP awards. Hall of Fame. But I think the way he played in the All Star games truly reflected who he was as a ballplayer. Here is what are widely considered his greatest moments as an All Star:

1941-Detroit: Williams, after doubling in a run earlier, went to bat in the ninth against Claude Passeau with 2 outs and 2 on. The AL was trailing 5-4. He hit the ball onto the right field roof of Briggs (Tiger) Stadium for a walk off 3-run homer and the AL won 7-5.

1946-Boston: Williams came up in the eighth against Rip Sewell and his famous "eephus" pitch. Not once, but twice did he throw his ridiculous blooper pitch to Williams. Williams watched the first for a strike. The second one he hit for his second home run of the game. His batting line for the game:

AB:4; R:4; H:4; RBI:5; BB:1

1949-Brooklyn: Williams made an amazing running catch of a Don Newcombe liner in the second inning with the bases loaded. This preserved a 4-3 AL lead and they eventually won 11-7.

1950-Chicago: Williams slammed into the wall while making a great leaping catch of a ball hit by Ralph Kiner in the first inning. He broke his left elbow, yet stayed in the game until the ninth inning, going 1-4 with an RBI. Williams had surgery 2 days later to remove 7 bone fragments from his elbow.

One of the other things that made Williams a great All Star was the fact that he used the opportunity to be around other great players as a way to make himself better. If you read other autobiographies or interviews with other HOFs, they talk about how Ted always wanted to spend a great deal of time talking about hitting. Ralph Kiner once said that Williams was the only other player that took a great interest in the mechanics of his swing.

It is fitting that MLB has decided to name the All Star MVP award after Williams. He once said that the All Star game was made for players like Willie Mays. I think it was made for players like Ted.

On The Flip Side - With Mr. Opposite

The Top 5 Worst Home Run Swings In Baseball:

About a week ago, I brought you my "Top 5 Best Home Run Swings." Well. now I look at the other side of the list: The Worst.

"Worst" means overall worst-looking stroke when hitting a ball for a home run.

Here's my list:

Starting with Number 5: Sammy Sosa.
For the simple reason that I hate the Cubs and I am sick of this ballerina, mainly because I am a Astros fan, but as previously said, he thinks he is a ballerina. Stick to just playing baseball Sammy!

Number 4: Dontrelle Willis.
Doesn’t hit that many, but for a pitcher he hits a lot of homers. Granted that really the only pitcher that can properly hit a home run is Mike Hampton. His “lankiness” really doesn’t do him any favours either.

Number 3: Jim Thome.
Mostly the little leg movement he has, also mixed with a below average swing. For some reason I always think they are one day going to introduce him as Grand Dragon Jim Thome (no offence to him).

Number 2: Gary Sheffield.
Stop the bat wiggling!

Number 1: Vladimir Guerrero.
Firstly, let me say that I think that Vlad has the most power swing out of an player today and he is very good at hitting homers. He could hit a blocked ball in the dirt for a home run, but his swing is just down right ugly.

Only In Boston

As the new Iraqi government prepares to try Saddam Hussein for war crimes, I have reflected on a lighter moment involving the deposed dictator. On a chilly morning last winter, it was Saddam who provided me with a vivid illustration of the fervor and passion that grips Red Sox Nation.

December 14, 2003. The first snowstorm of the season had arrived and I was holed up with my girlfriend in her apartment, having breakfast and listening to the radio. Around 11 a.m., a classic rock block was interrupted by a news bulletin. Breaking news on the airwaves.

"The Red Sox have agreed to terms with Oakland A’s closer Keith Foulke on a three-year contract. Foulke saved 43 games for Oakland last season and had been one of GM Theo Epstein’s top targets on the free agent market. The winter storm that has smothered New England for the past 24 hours is finally showing signs of letting up later this afternoon. Between 12 and 18 inches of snow has already fallen in parts of Suffolk County. And U.S. forces have apprehended former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. More coming up on the news at the top of the hour."

[Cut to catchy, station identifying-jingle and commercial break]

Unsure if my ears caught that last part correctly, I paused and looked at Liz, then asked for clarification. No way, she said. Had the Iraqi President-turned-fugitive been captured, that would have been mentioned first, not tossed in at the end of the bulletin. We were enjoying our egg sandwiches and probably just misheard it. Her dismissal seemed logical enough, and I believed her. I should have known better.

A full news segment a bit later confirmed that we had heard the initial report loud and clear. That 20-second sound byte is this city in a nutshell. The Red Sox come first – even in December – followed closely by the weather and distantly by all else. Saddam may have been one of the world’s most notorious dictators, the sworn enemy of multiple U.S. Presidents and the target of two wars, but on that morning he was an afterthought.

It didn’t stop there. Not 24 hours later, a friend sent me a forwarded e-mail message containing the now- infamous photograph taken of the bearded, disheveled Hussein after his capture. Airbrushed onto his head was a New York Yankees baseball cap.

You have to love Boston!

Outrageous George

On Tuesday, July 13th, ESPN aired their "ESPN25 Most Outrageous Sports Characters" in celebration of their twenty-fifth anniversary. In a list that included some of the most extreme, controversial characters (Tonya Harding, Dennis Rodman, John Rocker ) in sports history, guess who was included? Who else but George Steinbrenner, sixth most outrageous character in sports history.

What could George do to earn himself such a honor? Well many things actually. George is famous for his will to win, he'll do almost anything to get himself a world series. He wants everything to be perfect on his team, and if you're not, he'll just fire you. Billy Martin was fired five times by George. Steinbrenner is also known for his stubbornness which makes him an unlikable person for many. In fact, the reason former Yankee pitcher Andy Petite did not return to the Yankees was because George refused to take him out to dinner one night. But most of all George is reknowned for his spending of millions of dollars to buy top baseball players from other teams, or to block trades offered to other teams.

I guess that George really is suited to being the sixth most outrageous sports character, when the definition of outrageous is - 1. "grossly offensive to decency or morality" - or - "being well beyond the bounds of good taste."

15 Reasons Why The All-Star Game Sucked

1. It was on Fox Sports.
2. The Rocket exploded on the launching pad.
3. Danny Kolb didn’t get the win.
4. Scooter the baseball.
5. Arod didn’t get credited with the error that he deserved.
6. Jeter wasn’t taken out as early as he should have been.
7. Loaiza wasn’t taken to.
8. Did I mention it was Fox Sports?
9. Piazza didn’t take on Clemens.
10. Giambi’s parasite didn’t make a guest appearance in the 7th.
11. We weren’t treated to Tony Gywnn’s enthusiastic commentary.
12. Having to look at George Bush Sr. behind home plate.
13. The pre-game show.
14. Where was Spider-man?
15. (Being an Astros fan) The A.L won.

Yankees .532 vs. Good teams

The Yankees have played 47 games this year against teams with winning records. They've won 25 and lost 22. That's a .532 record against teams with a clue. Here’s the breakdown as I can see.The Red Sox are 22-20 vs teams with a .500 average for a .524 overall average against the better clubs.

Special "Yankees Suck" All-Star Game Diary!

Since I’ve been too busy to blog for a few days, there’s one thing I have to rant about before we get started:

When Eric Gagne’s save streak was snapped last week, why did EVERYONE rush to compare and contrast it with DiMaggio’s hitting streak? Joe D, Joe D, Joe D. Is there a clause in the contract of every national baseball writer and announcer that they MUST mention a Yankee every 25 words?

Blech.

You want a streak? Try Orel Hershiser’s 59+ scoreless innings in a row. Where’s THAT comparison? C’mon…the man was a Dodger pitcher (like Gagne), and if you ask me, Hershiser’s run was far more impressive. Did you know that DiMaggio went 1-for-3, 4, or 5 a whopping 35 times during those 56 games? Plus the fact that he had a bunch of drunk New York writers up there scoring for him when they weren’t kissing his butt and falling all over themselves in a mad attempt to deify him…PUH-LEEZE.

Let’s talk about pressure. Try pitching 6 ½ games of scoreless baseball in the middle of a pennant race. You make one mistake, it’s all over. You can’t blow it two or three times out of four and keep it going. You have to be near-perfect…all the time. Not to mention the fact that the 1988 Dodgers were below the league average in fielding percentage and double plays. Orel Hershiser got no help. And he knew that if he didn’t have an all-time season, the Dodgers probably wouldn’t have made the playoffs. But since he had the NERVE to play for a Non-Yankee Entity (the fool!), he’ll never get the credit he deserves…except on YankeesSuck.com.

Why? Because it is our mission to blow the sickening Yankee mythology to smithereenies! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OK…rant over. On to the action:

Pregame: AL recaps only…and I’m loath to mention the damn Clemens-Piazza thing at all, except to say that I lost any bit of respect I ever had for the Mets organization when they didn’t have their pitchers throw right at Clemens’ head in that first Yankee-Met series at Shea a couple of years ago. After all, “being the bigger person” has never been Roger Clemens’ concern…why should it be anyone else’s when he’s got a bat in his hands? Tonight, he’s going to throw a number of pitches, and Piazza will catch a number of them and throw them back. Ooooooh. How exciting.

Over/Under on the number of times Tim McCarver becomes so excited about Derek Jeter that he has to change his pants: 7.

Pretty decent boos for Jeter when announced…and what on EARTH is Giambi starting an All-Star Game with his numbers? Is this some sort of deal with BALCO?

“Batting sixth for the National League…and hopefully charging the mound after the first pitch…New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza!”

National anthem sung by “American Idol” winner “Fantasia”, who is wearing earrings the approximate size of the hole in Jeff Cirillo’s swing.

First pitch: Muhammad Ali. Giant. Godlike. Goosebumps. What more can you say?

That’s right, Derek…make sure you’re next to Ali at all times. Get those photo ops while you can, you slimeball…

AL First Inning (Brought to you by the dumb Marvel Comics Movie Du Jour): First pitch from Clemens to Piazza…ball one to Ichiro. Move along, people. Nothing to see here…Message to Joe Buck – it’s “EEE-CHEE-RO”, you moron…Again cursing the Mariners’ “front office” for denying us Pudge…EEE-CHEE-RO scores on the I-Rod triple, which must be a foreign concept to him of late…Five minutes and I’m already sick of McCarver. That’s about right…WOOT! Manny hits “El Potato” and Clemens is down 3-0. BWAHAHAHA!!!...Big K for A-Fraud – so far, this is a YankeesSuck.com dream…Mr. Intestinal Parasite reaches on a Jeff Kent error…Mr. Intangible chops a single, and McCarver is strangely quiet. Lovers’ tiff?...El Potato #2 from Soriano as Clemens goes down 6-0, and Mark Mulder mercifully strikes out. AL hits for the cycle in the first and sends the Rocket back to the trailer park. BeeeeeYOUTiful!

AL Second Inning (Brought to you by the dumb Will Smith Movie Du Jour): EEE-CHEE-RO back in the saddle, groundout…Randy Johnson warming up. No truth to the rumor that Steinbrenner and Selig will have the Unit pitching for the AL by the 7th inning…I-Rod 2 for 2 – Damn you, Howard Lincoln!!!...”Pudge Loves Yanni” segment VERY disturbing…Manny grounds out to Renteria, inning over…Fox cheezos beating the Yanni joke to death. McCarver picturing a tropical island…just him and Derek…Yanni music in the background…OK, I better stop now.

AL Third Inning (Brought to you by Karl Ravech’s hairpiece): RANDEEEEEEE! Don’t listen to those pinstriped wankers when they come up and try to sell you…Unit breaks A-Fraud’s bat for out #1…Scooter the Cartoon Ball needs to be on the receiving end of a Lance Berkman Special…Mr. Intestinal Parasite gets a single off the Unit… Mr. Intangible gets a single off the Unit, and McCarver is AGAIN strangely quiet – what’s going on here?…Looking at Soriano, I don’t know – if I have a choice between him and A-Fraud over the next five years, I wonder if Texas didn’t get the better deal…Fonzie singles to load the bases…Unit strikes out KC’s Harvey on a SICK breaker… EEE-CHEE-RO grounds out and the Unit emerges unscathed…Randy? Next stop, Boston!!!

AL Fourth Inning (Brought to you by the $20 million in missing Mariner payroll): Cubs’ Carlos Zambrano on the mound (the most underrated pitcher in the NL)…Pudge almost beats out an infield single – GAWD, he’s fast for a catcher…Giambi miked up on first talking to Bonds about soft spikes – shouldn’t he be soliciting batting tips?...Ortiz in for Manny, and Zambrano wisely walks him…EEE-CHEE-RO caught in the dugout looking very confused to be surrounded with good players…A-Fraud hits a triple, but at least he drives Ortiz in…Zambrano strikes out Carl Crawford – inning over. Apparently, Roger Clemens would be “remissed” if he didn’t say something to his hometown fans. And Roger, we’d be “remissed” if we didn’t say this in return: “GO HOME, YOU HICK!!!”

AL Fifth Inning (Brought to you by the mental image of Brian Cashman washing Steinbrenner’s car): New NL hurler is the Marlins’ Carl Pavano (forget the ring and the All-Star berth – this man used to date Alyssa Milano!)…and Mr. Intangible reaches on a rather questionable call at first. Hmmm. A Yankee getting a close call. Can you imagine?...Pavano Ks Fonzie…And here’s Texas’ Michael Young, who SHOULD be the A.L. starting shortstop…and Jeter slides 20 feet short of second on a Young grounder – nice “Willie Mays Hayes moment”, Mr. Intangible!...EEE-CHEE-RO up – grounder to short. Inning over.

AL Sixth Inning (Brought to you by Dave Stapleton as a defensive replacement and Mookie grounding out in ‘86): DIE, SCOOTER, DIE!...Pavano again to I-Rod – pop-up to right…Kevin Kennedy talking to Jeter. THERE’S a braintrust…Bad Vlad (the best damn player in the game, if you ask me) singles to right… AND HERE IT IS! McCarver on Jeter – “What a money player he is”. And here comes the Intangibles Speech. And here’s the Highlight Reel. And here’s his bloody mug after the “faceplant catch” (THAT’s kinda enjoyable, actually). And here are the 27 shots of Mr. Intangible in the dugout. Excuse me while I vomit…Ortiz hits one to Arkansas…A.L. 9, A.L. 4. That man is STRONG!...Blalock grounds out…Crawford grounds out…inning over…Tejada fans Ortiz with a towel in the dugout as I wonder what the deal is with Manny’s hair.

AL Seventh Inning (Brought to you by Bill Lee striking out Tony Perez in ’75 and celebrating with a big fat spliff): Glavine on the mound – just picked him up on my No Yankees Allowed Fantasy Team!...Lawton singles, and Sheffield hits into a DP. HAHAHAHA!!!...Young grounds out, inning over...Here comes Ruben Studdard to Sing God Bless America - what a strange coincidence that FOX has the “American Idol” winners singing in this game. Is there nothing that cannot be co-opted anymore? Oh well – no Clay Aiken sightings yet.

AL Eighth Inning (Brought to you by Harry Frazee falling off a cliff in 1918): Brewers’ Ben Sheets on the mound – this guy is underrated and SCARY….makes the Indians’ Belliard look just plain silly on a K…Victor Martinez grounds out…Tejada up – chin music, full count, groundout. Nobody knows who Ben Sheets is, and if you are playing in a fantasy league with morons, make sure you pick him up. Unfortunately, I am not in a league filled with morons, bu